I saw an article on Yahoo called “Six Things You Should Never Do On Airplanes.”  It was all pretty boring stuff (albeit not obvious) like “Kick the seat in front of you,” and “Get too friendly.”

Here is my list of 11 things you should never do on airplanes that I have actually SEEN done on airplanes.  Yes friends I witnessed these with my own eyes (or my own nose for #10 and #11) on airplanes.

  1. Break up with your significant other who is sitting right next to you and did not see it coming at all.
  2. Take someone else’s rollerboard bag out of the overhead compartment, put your’s there, and just leave their rollerboard in the aisle.
  3. Put your bag under someone else’s seatback saying nothing more than, “Excuse me.”
  4. Cut your finger nails at your seat (nail clippers apparently got by TSA).
  5. Cut your toe nails at your seat ((nail clippers apparently got by TSA from another person).
  6. Put food directly on the tray table and then eat it (OMG those tables are filthy – see #7).
  7. Blow your nose then put the used tissue on the tray table.
  8. Pop a zit while at your seat.
  9. Look at hardcore porn while in your seat (or really any porn for that matter).
  10. Eat really smelly food on the plane like fried egg sandwiches, tuna sandwiches, or what smelled like a sardine sandwich.
  11. Fart repeatedly in your seat.

Tomorrow I start a series about flying in class.  Oh if it could always be that way.