How did you get Salmonella“Apparently from someone who did not wash their hands well enough when they prepared the meal.”

How did you get that nasty flu“From shaking hands with someone who had it.  I quickly rinsed my hands afterwards.  I guess I didn’t do it well enough.”

How did you get such severe diarrhea“Docs said it was from e. Coli.  That is poop right?  Ugh not sure how that happened.”

How was your cruise?  “Horrible.  Everyone got norovirus.  I guess someone didn’t wash their hands well enough and now a whole bunch of people had ruined vacations.”  

How to Wash Your Hands Correctly

Much like making love, washing your hands is all about friction between two body parts.

In washing hands, the friction from rubbing your two hands together creates heat and that heat is usually enough to kill bacteria and viruses.  You need to rub your two hands together under flowing water for 20 seconds to adequately kill common germs.

hand washing

Simply rinsing your hands does not work because our bodies have oils that hold the germs on our skin.

You can put as much soap as you want on your hands, but your hands are not clean unless you rub them together for at least 20 seconds.  The soap is much like a lubricant to facilitate the rubbing together.

One way to do it is to rub your hands together as you sing “Happy Birthday’ to yourself.  Don’t stop until the song is over.

I think a better way is to pretend your just touched a whole bunch of raw chicken, so imagine washing your hands to get all that raw chicken off.

Wash Your Hands!

Fortunately there was no norovirus on the cruise I went on, and the cruise line was downright strict with cleanliness including hand cleanliness.

A few years back at a previous job, one of my team members was pregnant and therefore spent a lot of time in the women’s room.  She said I would be shocked by how many women come out of the stall and then leave without washing their hands.  She started to point out the woman who didn’t wash their hands.  I had had dinner with at least one of them.  Yuck.

Though it’s hard to imagine, doctors only began regularly washing their hands before surgery in the mid-1800s.

Purell and Antibiotic Soap

Purell is better than nothing, and the same principle of rubbing your hands together applies.  It is still about the friction.  Make love with your hands.   Better scenario is to find a way to rinse your hands after using Purell.

Antibiotic soap has as many pluses as it does minuses.  It is also proving unhealthy for rivers and creeks and other bodies of water where fish and wildlife live.  My opinion is just wash your hands correctly and it is not needed.


Choice A:  Diarrhea, upset stomach, vomiting, fever, chills, gas, bloating, ass explosions, and more.

Choice B:  Washing your hand frequently and rubbing them together 20 seconds each time.

Your choice.  Though if you pick Choice A please do not ever prepare me food or touch my hands.  That would be shitty of you.  Thank you very much.  Have a nice day.