On February 27, we said goodbye to this blog’s fearless leader. A world traveler, innovative IT professional, father to Billysky, lover of fine dining, air travel, and Pennsylvania tomatoes, Paul was a storyteller with a true appreciation for living.
I first met Paul in March 2016. I’d just joined the local Rotary Club, and a few fellow Rotarians were gathering for a cookout on a friend’s lawn in honor of the town’s annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
In the midst of making new friends over plastic cups of beer and plates of layered taco dip, a man walked by carrying a porcelain dinner plate.
“Would you like to try my steak?” he asked with a big smile. He had disheveled black hair and was wearing a navy blue coat that looked to be two sizes too big for him. He had a tattered grilling glove on one hand. True to his word, in the other hand he extended a fork with a bite-sized piece of steak, grilled to medium-rare.
It was one of the oddest requests I’ve ever received at a cookout, mainly because of the personal delivery.
But that was Paul. He was personal.
And in the middle of the chaos of a party, he delivered a really good steak.
Garden Conversations
Later that spring, the Rotary Club purchased a plot in the town’s community garden. Next to 10×10 plots of sunflower beds and wire tomato cages, we planted bell peppers, cucumbers, herbs, and tomatoes that we hoped would flower in a few months.
As the spring turned to summer and the sun grew stronger, my fiancée and I visited the garden plot to water and weed more often. And almost every time we visited, Paul was there.
As it turned out, Paul was the mastermind behind this formerly vacant space of land. Just a few years back, he’d turned it into rows of square plots that residents and businesses could purchase annually in the hopes of growing locally sourced food.
Paul had two adjacent plots of his own in the community garden, filled with tall tomato plants. We’d pass them as we walked to unravel the hose from the water station, and almost always, we’d end up talking to Paul, who, often wearing a wide-brimmed gardening hat and a community garden branded t-shirt covered in soil, was hard at work weeding and pruning.
Paul liked to talk. I do, too, and I often ask a lot of questions, so it was a natural that many of our late afternoon conversations in the garden would continue until the sun had started to set, the humidity had left, and my stomach was telling me that it was time for dinner.
I learned about everything from Paul’s years in San Francisco, which is tied with Paris as my favorite city in the world, to his plans to freeze his tomatoes and use them to make tomato sauce in the winter, to his beloved tuxedo cat, Billysky. I’m terrified of cats, so this was a particularly fascinating topic for Paul, a self-proclaimed cat lover. Often, he would invite us over for a drink and then seize the opportunity to have me feed Billysky her Fancy Feast, just because he was genuinely interested in helping me overcome my fear.
Paul was also genuinely interested in helping me overcome my fear of writing.
Which brings me to this blog.
A Surprise Return to Writing
It’s a love/hate relationship – writing and me. I’ve been writing almost my whole life, with short stories in between school and sports as a child, as an aspiring journalist in high school and college, and most recently, while completing my graduate degree in Creative Writing.
But if it’s not for a job or for a paid consulting gig, it’s difficult for me to write. Though aside from exercise, it’s one of my best stress relievers, I often find that other priorities take precedence, and by the time I sit down to write just for fun, I’m too tired or distracted to do so.
I remember when Paul unveiled Paul Sees the World back in November 2016. Wow, that’s brave, I thought. I’d always wanted to author a blog, but between the excuse of “I don’t have a theme” and “It’s too personal/scary/(insert emotion about other people reading my writing),” I’d never followed through with it.
I followed Paul’s first posts, and enjoyed reading about Billysky, his African safari ride, and his critiques of the first class meals and business lounges of different airlines.
Once Paul Sees the World turned 6 months, Paul was traveling to Dallas almost weekly for his job, and between those trips and his planned vacations, he was having trouble publishing posts regularly.
“I know you’re a writer,” he casually mentioned one evening after a Rotary meeting. “Would you like to write for my blog?”
“I’d be honored,” I answered sincerely. “But, I don’t know what I’d write about.”
Paris, dogs, food. He suggested topics. I nodded in consideration.
Nothing happened.
Paul continued posting in the free time that he had.
“Hey Sarah, do you still want to write for my blog?” Paul asked after another Rotary meeting.
“I do,” I responded enthusiastically.
This pattern continued for months.
He told my fiancée, and he started suggesting topics. Teaching French, baking, running.
The pattern continued.
Finally, in late November 2017, Paul said, rather persistently for Paul, “Sarah, you said you wanted to write for my blog. Is this something you’d actually like to do?”
The pattern had come to an end.
The Ultimate Blessing
With Paul’s encouragement, I published my first post for Paul Sees the World in December 2017. It was about an important baking lesson I’d recently learned: making meringue for pie is very difficult, and sometimes it can melt, which is called weeping.
A new pattern emerged. Each weekend, usually on Sunday afternoons, Paul and I would plan the upcoming week’s blog schedule. Usually, I posted on Mondays, and he posted on Wednesdays and Saturdays/Sundays.
For topics, if we had ideas, we’d share them. If we needed a prompt, we’d brainstorm.
We usually stuck to topics in the four main categories (Cats, Food, Travel, Airplanes), but no topic was off-limits, because there was the Random Thoughts category (see: yoga, running, religion, death).
“Right on,” Paul would say.
Even though he wasn’t here to help me with this week’s topic, I think it would’ve received the same blessing.
I was just thinking about Paul and that I hadn’t heard from him recently….
That’s heartbreaking 💔
Was great to read about his stories over the years and will miss them going forward!
LikeLike
Hi Matt, thank you for sharing and for reading Paul’s blog! I am very sorry for your loss.
LikeLike
Paul, thank you for being a friend. You are one of those people that make the [insert word here] more than a [insert word here]. For me, it was making the Office more than just a building. You always have that home for the holidays, roast in the oven, warm smile, welcome.
Thank you for all you share.
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing these nice memories and for reading Paul’s blog!
LikeLike
It is with a heavy heart that I read this and feel that the world has lost one of the lights that helped take away the darkness. Paul was my councilman and a friend who showed so much concern with me and my son about my wife who had a traumatic brain injury in 2006. He genuinely cared and went out of his way to help us.
We will miss him and his bright columns on WordPress. I’m happy to see and read how his life has touched others and made it a much better place for us to care for each other!
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing these memories and for your kind words. I am very sorry for your loss.
LikeLike
It is very, very sad to hear this news. Paul’s blog was one of the first that I followed. His posts on planes, cats, and everything else was always fun to read. Paul was also one of the first to follow my blog. His posts and the comments on my blog inspired and encouraged my blogging. Thanks for the beautifully written tributes in the last two posts.
LikeLike
Hello, thank you for sharing this. I will continue to follow your blog as Paul had. I look forward to reading your posts! Thank you for reading and for your kind words.
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing. Paul was a dear friend since college and although the miles have separated us for many decades, our too infrequent visits were always like we had just seen each other yesterday. A liberal and a conservative, a catholic and a protestant, a cat lover and a dog lover, a bad speller and a strict grammarian, we made it work! He was k e of our groomsmen, he instilled my love for airplanes (he flew with me on my nervous first flight), encouraged my wife in her artistic pursuits, gave good career advice (not always taken, alas), scolded me when needed (“Why do you want to be like that? Don’t be like that!”) and was a tremendous San Francisco tour guide.
LikeLike
Love you Paul!
LikeLike
Hi William, thank you for sharing your memories of Paul. He was a wonderful friend to you and your wife! I am sorry for your loss.
LikeLike
Well said, Sarah. There will be a mass at St. Matthew’s Parish in Paul’s honor on Sunday, March 24, 11:30am in Conshohocken.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Anthony, thank you for letting me know. I will be there.
LikeLike
Thank You
LikeLike
Thank you for reading!
LikeLike
Sarah, So sorry for the loss of your friend. Thoughts and prayers go to you, his family and the many he inspired. Thank you for your thoughts.
LikeLike
Thank you for Sharon, for your kind words and for reading Paul’s story.
LikeLike
Well done Sarah, thank you for continuing to write. “Right on.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Marco, for reading! “Right on” indeed.
LikeLike
Love you Paul, you will be missed so much. Thank you Sarah for the nice kind words about Paul.
Hope they can change the name to Paul community garden. Paul you are simple the best.
LikeLike
Randy, thank you for reading! The borough and the Community Garden members are hard at work changing the name and also planning a celebration in the garden for Paul!
LikeLike
You are so welcome Sarah , also when Paul came to Dallas he always even when busy had a chance to meet up for a dinner. Always a treat to see my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Paul was my friend and i miss him. I have known Paul for many years. The last time he talked me into running for Constable. He came over and we went to the park and he took my photos. He loved traveling especially the Safari he went on. He never got a chance to see Charlie’s African artifacts and furniture he made. I went by his house and cried. Paul was a special person and he cared about his friends. I will never forget him as long as i live. I guess the next time i see my friend will be in the sky flowing across on a big white cloud with a drink in our hand. He was President of Council for several years and made some good changes to this town. Paul was Conshohocken.
LikeLiked by 1 person
These are very nice words, Debbie. Thank you for sharing your memories of Paul!
LikeLike
Well said about Paul , couldn’t put it better than that. Love you Paul.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so sorry to read this. My deepest sympathies! You wrote a lovely tribute and the header photo is wonderful (northern Laos?).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Caroline! Yes, I believe that is Northern Laos 🙂
LikeLike
This is heartbreaking, so sorry to hear this. I loved reading Paul’s posts and always appreciated his humour. He’s one of the first bloggers I really connected with and I was always thankful for his support on my own blog.
This is a wonderful tribute.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jason, thank you for reading, and for your friendship to Paul. I look forward to following you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Sarah 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sarah – are you still monitoring this Blog ? I was digging back through some old email and came across a link that Paul had sent me for his Blog. I was not a reader of it. When we spoke – he encouraged me to follow him. Paul and I met at Virginia Tech – were friends when I lived in D.C. – and then re-connected when he moved out to San Francisco. I am from SF adn moved home in the mid-90’s. When he moved back to Pennsylvania – we kept in touch – and would re-connect when he visited.
LikeLike
Hi Noel,
Yes, I am still monitoring this blog. I post 1-2 times per month, and often one of the posts is from a guest writer.
Thank you so much for following Paul’s blog! And thank you for sharing your connection to Paul.
Take care,
Sarah
LikeLike
Hello Noel , this is Randy . I remember going to your house for some dinner long time ago . I saw your post about Sarah . Just wanted to say hello, I’m living in Dallas. Miss Paul very much. Hope you are well . Take care.
LikeLike
One of Paul’s favorite holidays was 4 th of July. He loved to get people together and BBQ. Miss this so much with Paul. You are truly missed.
LikeLike
Yes, I thought of Paul on Saturday. I was never able to join him, but I remember he loved to go to the Mall in DC for fireworks.
LikeLike
Yes loved to see his mother and father and see DC. Just one of many things about Paul!!!
LikeLike
Randy, I did not know that one of Paul’s favorite holidays was the 4th of July. Thank you for sharing this. I miss him too!
Take care,
Sarah
LikeLike